Relationship coach blames Oprah for pushing family estrangement ‘for decades’

Oprah Winfreyis shining a light on family estrangement, which she calls “one of the fastest-growing cultural shifts of our time” — but one expert says the media mogul helped fuel that very culture.

“A Cornell University study now shows that almost one-third of Americans are actively estranged from a family member,” Winfrey said on a recent episode of “The Oprah Podcast,” referring to adult children going “no-contact” with parents, siblings or entirefamily systems.

Winfrey said the trend is a “silent epidemic” that can be especially relevant during the holidays.

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But family and relationship coach Tania Khazaal, who focuses on fighting “cutoff culture,” took to social media to criticize Winfrey for acting as if the estrangement crisis appeared “out of thin air.”

“Now Oprah is shocked by the aftermath of estrangement, after being one of the biggest voices pushing it for decades,” Canada-based Khazaal said in anInstagram video,which drew more than 27,000 likes and 3,000 comments.

Oprah Winfrey recently discussed what she called a “silent epidemic” of family estrangement on her podcast.(Theo Wargo/Getty Images)

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Khazaal claimed that Winfrey’s messaging started in the 1990s and has contributed to a cultural shift where walking away became the first resort, not the last.

According to the relationship coach, millennials, some of whom grew up watching Oprah, are the leading demographic cutting offfamily members— and even if it wasn’t intentional, “the effect has absolutely been harmful,�

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The coach, who has her own history with estrangement, questioned why Winfrey is now treating the issue as a surprising crisis.

“Now she hosts a discussion withestranged parentsand estranged kids, speaking on estrangement like it’s some hidden, sudden, heartbreaking epidemic that she had no hand in,” she said in her video.

Nearly one-third of Americans are estranged from a family member, research shows.(iStock)

Khazaal said she believes discussions about estrangement are necessary, but insists that people shouldn’t “rewrite history.”

“Estrangement isn’t entertainment or atrending conversation piece,” she added.“It’s real families, real grief, parents dying without hearing their child’s voice.”

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Winfreyreportedly respondedin the comments, writing, “Happy to have a conversation about it — but not on a reel.Will have my producer contact you if you’re interested.�

“I would still be open to that discussion,” Khazaal said.“The first thing I’d want her to understand is simple: Setting aside cases of abuse or danger, the family unit is the most sacred structure we have.” 

Experts emphasize that estrangement should be a last resort.(iStock)

“When children lose their sense of belonging at home, they search for it in the outside world,” she added.“That’s contributing to theemotional fragilitywe’re seeing today.”

Her critique ignited a debate online, with some social media users saying Khazaal is voicing a long-overdue concern.

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“The first time I heard, ‘You can love them from a distance’ was from Oprah … in the ’90s,” one woman said.

“My son estranged himselffrom us for five years,” one mother commented.“The pain, hurt and damage never goes away.”

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Others, however, argued that Winfrey’s podcast episode was empathetic and that estrangement shouldn’t be oversimplified.

Mental health expertssay the conversation around estrangement is more complex than any single celebrity influence, and reflects broader cultural shifts.

Experts say today’s focus on boundaries and emotional well-being has reshaped family expectations.(iStock)

In the episode with Winfrey, Joshua Coleman, a California-based psychologist, said, “The old days of ‘honor thy mother and thy father,’ ‘respect thy elders’ and ‘family is forever’ has given way to much more of an emphasis on personal happiness, personal growth, my identity, my political beliefs, my mental health.” 

Coleman noted that therapists sometimes become “detachment brokers” by unintentionallygreen-lighting estrangement.

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Winfrey’s take on family estrangement is prompting a broader discussion amid the holiday season.(iStock)

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But even strained relationships can be fixed with the right support, experts say.

mental health professionalto improve communication, learn healthier conflict-resolution skills, and build trust and empathy through quality time together.

“No family is perfect,�

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Khazaal agreed, saying, “Parents need to learn how to listen without slipping into justification, and children need help speaking about their pain without defaulting to blame or avoidance.”